How To Not Be A Chat Line Narcissist
Chat lines conversationalists who monopolize the conversation are like authors or painters. There’s an energy behind the art of the entire thing that says, “Look at me, look how interesting I am.” This is not to knock artists; however, there is a time and place. Artists often work by themselves, but phone conversation is a team exercise. It takes two equal parts to make it work seamlessly. Most people who are drawn to phone dating love to talk. They enjoy the type of chat that engrosses them and their match for hours on end. This is at least true for the romancers on the line, as many folks who call party lines or erotic chat lines aren’t calling to tell stories about their childhood.
The point is that it’s well within a chat line caller’s nature to want to talk about themselves. While that can be fun for a time, it doesn’t really yield so many dates. This is especially true when two monopolizers get on the phone together. It then becomes a battle rather than a fun and flirty adventure. There are tons of ways to be dateable on a dating chat line that doesn’t involve oversharing or cutting off your chat line partner.
So boogey on and read Mr. Chat Line‘s no nonsense advice about how to not be a chat line narcissist.
Abandon The Charade
Everyone has a plan when they are on a phone date about what they want to say to the other person. It’s like being in grade school again and raising your hand to answer the question, thinking only of your response and not listening to those around you. It’s the response that will impress the class, the one that you’ve been rehearsing in your head. But, you’re not a preteen anymore, so you can drop the act! It’s much easier said than done to just ‘be yourself’ on a chat line. However, you don’t need to have interesting anecdotes on tap. Let the conversation flow naturally without trying to force in those stories about yourself that you think will impress your phone chat date.
Listen With Your Heart
Yeah, that’s a corny line but don’t run away just yet. What is meant by this is just to say that when you listen, you’ve got to really be listening and absorbing the information your date is telling you if you want to bond with that person. Don’t let their stories fall onto deaf ears. Listening on this level requires you to understand what they are saying and even engage in follow up questions or throw in some stories about how you relate to what the person has just told you. This is how to stand out from the rest of the callers on the line. People love to feel heard and understood, and chat line callers are no exception. In fact, they might be the people who feel the most misunderstood and are seeking a sense of community and companionship the most. Chat lines, though fantastic avenues for dating, aren’t often the first things people try.
Phone chat callers tend to be dating veterans, having already gone through the annoying bar and coffee shop dating scene. Sadly, life is not like the movies and you don’t just randomly bump into the love of your life on the street, or experience your dogs simultaneously wrapping their leashes around your legs at a dog park. Dating is hard, but chat lines make it easier. In short, chat line callers don’t want to feel as if you aren’t giving them the attention they need!
This is a pretty standard rule if you want to impress your date and not be a jerk or a narcissist. Don’t interrupt your date when they are talking to you! There’s nothing more annoying or frustrating than being interrupted while on the phone. The cherry on top is the fact that you are on a phone date and your date keeps interrupting you. If you find yourself talking over your date, chances are she’s rolling her eyes on the other end of the line waiting for you to stop talking. That doesn’t bode well for you and it isn’t fun for her. So, just be careful when you are speaking and make sure to not bud in, talk over your chat line date, or try to control the chat in any way.
Have Good Questions
The mark of a good listener is someone who can ask the right kinds of questions. Think of yourself as a Howard Stern type. Or, maybe don’t as he is kind of a narcissist. Rather, think of yourself as a radio journalist. You want to get to know the person on the other end of the phone. To do that, you’ve got to make them feel comfortable and want to get vulnerable with you. Howard Stern’s ability to do that is what makes him such a genius. At the end of the day, he’s actually a really good listener. Good questions are ones that aren’t yes or no questions. To answer them requires some thought and engagement, which is what you want out of your date. Exceptionally good questions are ones that are based off things your chat line date has already said. You can refer to something that she remarked in her greeting, or play off of something she has already told you.